Time is moving. Not fast enough for my liking, but moving nonetheless.
Getting the kids up and out the door for school feels normal, familiar, like putting on your old sneakers. I can almost trick myself into thinking everything is how it should be.
We’re quickly falling into our old morning routines. Me yelling at the kids to hurry up and them ignoring me. Every parent goes through it.
Kate started her graduated back to school reintegration program (a fancy way to say she’s going half days this week and full days next week). Her TA (Teacher’s Aide) is familiar to her so I anticipate a successful first day.
I do another load of laundry. Feed the dogs. Check Facebook. Look for work. My life reads like a laundry list, a really boring laundry list.
And then a friend calls.
“How are you?” she asks, and there’s something in her tone that puts me on edge.
“Fine,” I respond.
“You haven’t been online, have you?”
I’m one of those news junkies that has CNN, CBC, CTV, and the BBC all book-marked but for some reason I haven’t been reading or watching the news - my own way of insulating myself against the world, perhaps.
I tell her I haven’t and she tells me the news. Three more Canadians killed in Afghanistan. My skin is cold despite the 25+ degree temperature. It’s as if I’ve been tossed into an icy bath.
We stay on the phone but my brain doesn’t absorb what she’s saying. I hope she understands. My over active brain is miles away.
Somewhere in the pre-dawn hours a mother; sister; wife was awakened by a knock at the door. Somewhere in Canada the families of three PPCLI (Princess Patricia’s Canadian Light Infantry) soldiers opened their doors to find…..to find who? A clergy? Some MP’s? A commanding officer?
Somewhere today someone lived and is living my nightmare.
My mind flies instantly to Rick. It will be his first ramp ceremony.
I wonder what he’s thinking, what he’s feeling, how he is.
We learned at the pre-deployment briefings that when tragedies happen all communication with KAF is shut down. No one can call or e-mail. I haven’t heard from him and now I know why.
In one five-second span of time I was reminded that the Canadian Army is at war and that my husband, my best friend, is there.
I close my eyes and pray for strength. – Day 13
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1 comment:
I am not a military wife but I have friends in the military and I know a few that will be leaving in the next few weeks to serve in Afghanistan.
Your blogs gives me some insight into what the family at home goes through and I can't even imagine what goes through your mind on a day like today after 3 soldiers have died. My heart, thoughts and prayers go out to you, your family and your husband.
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