Holding on for one more day

I feel like a truck hit me.

The stress of this last week, combined with being on the go too much for Kate’s appointments has zapped my energy reserves.

I’m usually a roll-off-the-back; who-gives-a-crap; laid-back type of person. Today – well today everything is irritating.

Rick calls from the desert.

“My chain of command has approved me to come home for compassionate reasons. But I’m waiting for the Task Force Commander to approve me to bypass the decompression in Cyprus,” he tells me.

“What’s the hold up?” I respond. Since, like every logical human being in the world, it seems like a formality – a rubber stamp sort of decision.

I’ve been a military wife long enough to know that there are standard turn around times for almost everything and I ask what the standard time is for the Cobra Commander to stamp a piece of paper.

“I don’t know, Baby,” he replies. “But I’ve been told to get everything ready because when it happens everything is going to happen fast.”

A wave of nausea washes over me and I think “it can’t come fast enough – hold on kid.”

My in-laws are crossing on the ferry tonight. We’re hoping that ice in the gulf doesn’t slow them down too badly. Back up has been mobilized – I’ve just got to hold down the fort until they get here.

I speak to my friend Deb on the phone. Through sobs and tears I explain what’s going on. She’s never heard me cry on the phone either and I can hear in her voice that it’s upsetting her.

Jenn calls and hears my exhaustion. She’s at my door in less than 10 minutes bearing junk and treats and a special angel for me. I have to say – sometimes the best friends are the ones who arrive with empty calories and open arms. My eyes must look like hell – I think I’ve invented a new shade of red.

I’m irritated by the state of my house. Jenn threatens to kick my ass if I dare touch anything. That sets us off howling like hyenas. The laughter is just the release I needed. The kids are grateful for a sane grown up in the house and both of them cuddle up with her on the couch.

I really do have the best friends. Terri-Lynn has called a dozen times. She’s ready to pack up her kids and move in until my in-laws get here. I assure her that I’ll be okay for one more night.

A couple of years ago I didn’t have these ladies in my life. And now – I can’t imagine living without them. They’re my safety net. If anything happens before family can get here I know my kids will be safe – that’s a huge comfort considering all that’s been happening lately.

Sometimes family has nothing to do with blood.

Day 216