Christmas spirit is creeping in.
Little by little I am feeling more myself. More solid instead of an apparition peeking through the keyholes at the celebrations around me.
I’ve started to shop. I haven’t decorated yet. But I’m at least thinking about it – a monumental improvement from the way I was feeling a week ago.
And then a friend pops onto MSN.
“Go read the news.”
“Which news?” I ask.
“Doesn’t matter.”
I sigh and open a new browser. I wait as the CBC fills the screen and feel myself blanch at what I see.
Throwing a bucket of ice water over me would have produced the same effect. I shiver.
Canadian soldiers. Three more Canadian soldiers. I want to be sick.
My friend pops on again and says – “It isn’t Rick – you’d know already.”
Tears are in my eyes. I can’t stop myself from thinking of the families. Just a few weeks before the holidays and they’ve lost their loved ones.
I can feel their pain. And it burns.
Rick has managed to send a short note via Facebook. He’s told me he likes indoor cats best. Code for the fact he hasn’t been outside the wire. I’d like to hear his voice but communication has been cut for obvious reasons.
“I’ll Be Home For Christmas” starts playing on the radio. I break down.
Deep breaths. Little steps. More tears.
I re-read the article and feel a thin anger. They haven’t led with the deaths. They’ve played up the fact that these deaths make it 101 killed. They’ve reduced them to numbers.
They’re so much more than numbers. They’re heroes. They all are. Willing to put their lives on the line. Willing to live in the harshest environments possible. Willing to die because their government and their country asks them to.
They’re not numbers. They’re husbands, and fathers and sons and brothers and they should be remembered that way.
Peace on earth is a beautiful concept. But it isn’t something that’s going to be brought about with a bunch of comments on the CBC website. I think people should remember that.
Be grateful for the sacrifice that these men and these families have made in the name of Peace. Honour them. Remember them. They are not numbers. They are our brothers.
Day 104
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3 comments:
Hi Louise, I feel for you and know exactally how you feel. I work here with Rick and the boys and I just wanted to add a little something to your post, we are also, mothers, daughters, sisters and grandmothers. Who are also away from our families at Christmas. But because of your wonderful husband, I get to go home in January and help deliver my first grandson. To anyone that does not know Rick, you should! Take care Louise and stay strong.
Roxanne
(another newfie niner)
Louise, you write so well...you capture so many of my own feelings and you bring tears to my eyes.
I thought of you immediately when I saw the news and wondered how you were doing. I'll always remember when Pete was overseas and we lost 6 boys on Easter Sunday....and here we are again, so close to Christmas and more families will never see this holiday the same again.
God speed to you Rick....and God bless you Louise. Love you. Jules
Hi Louise.
I feel what you are going through. My father was in Afghanistan two years ago and it was the hardest 6 months of my life. I admire your frankness and your ability to talk about it. I avoided the news while my father was away and if I felt the need to talk about it with people I did so with my close friends and family.
When soldiers died when my fether was there, we'd get calls at the house as well. People telling us about it as if we'd be anxious to get the information. I always resented that. It's hard enough to be brave on an average day, I did not appreciate it when people threw something at me like that and were waiting in line to cnsole me.
I guess we all have our own way of handling this strange and stressful situation. My heart goes out to you and your family.
Take care.
-c
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