I should have known!
I freaking knew better than to get my hopes up!
Remember that “light at the end of the tunnel thing”? Well it turns out it’s a freight train – not the end of the tunnel.
The army, in it’s infinite wisdom and all powerful omnipotence, has decided that my husband is needed in Afghanistan and all our plans are out the window.
I shouldn’t have told the boy that his daddy would be here for his birthday. But when Rick called a week ago and said he would be home in March instead of April I figured it was a safe gamble.
He’s devastated. I’m devastated. The other kids are devastated.
Sigh – so now what?
I had my heart set on relief coming. Rick’s parents were even making the trek from Newfoundland. Help was on the horizon.
Not so much anymore.
He called me two days ago and said that it was a distant possibility that he could be extended and he would let me know as soon as he knew. When I answered the phone today and heard his voice say “Hi Baby” I knew.
The rest of the conversation was irrelevant. And, in all honesty, I don’t even remember it.
I’m sure he gave me a reason. I’m sure he outlined the importance of why he had to stay. But for the life of me I wouldn’t be able to give you that information if I tried.
All I know is that I was excited and happy and had hope for the first time in months. And now it’s gone. It’s gone, and I feel as bereft as when he got back on that plane after HLTA.
When he said good-bye I just sat here. I sat here and cried. I think Kate even sensed what was happening because she started to cry right along with me. Sometimes I forget that she knows what’s what.
So, the countdown has been suspended. The party revellers are dismissed from Times Square and we continue to slog through this winter alone.
Day 202
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8 comments:
Hello,
Another Canadian directed me to your blog. I'm so sorry to hear that your husband will be delayed in coming home. It seems that neither one of our countries Armies seem to care about the family that is waiting ever so impatiently.
Please know that there are many more just like you on this side of the border who feel your pain. Stay Strong!! Will add you and yours to our prayer list.
PS, also can relate to your blended family. Mine was much the same. I might not have given birth to them but they were mine just the same.
I know that there are no words that can comfort you. I'm in the southern part of the US, and I just wish that I could reach out and give you some hugs. I have read your heartbreaking posts, and I have such a heavy heart. Military wives are the strongest people I know, and I have the greatest respect for them. I send you my warmest good wishes. Please know that there are people who are praying for you, other wives, and the brave Canadian troops.
**from a Soldier's Angel from Texas
Brat sent me over. After reading your blog, and seeing how you talk about the courage of others, I think you are selling yourself short. You are an incredibly courageous and strong wife, mother and woman! The saying that it takes one to know one, is so very true in this case!
Your posts brought tears to my eyes, reading how you still keep moving forward! Prayers for you and yours!
My Dear Louise,
Another Canadian dear friend of mine directed me to your blog. Your anguish and love are oozing from the screen. Please hang on. Every day that passes moves you one more closer. Many, many women are at home right now fighting the same demons. Try to keep strong knowing that there is a lot of you together in the same boat.
I will add you and your family in my prayers. I pray that he comes home safely soon, and stays home.
Bless you and your family. Peace be with you.
From a former military wife (and now a veterans wife!) to another, I stand with you and I honor you. Although I am from the USA and my husband fought in the US Army, there is no distinction between his service and your husbands. I know what you are going through and want you to know that you are not alone and that there are so many who support you and pray for you!
More greetings from America.
I wish I had the majic words to make it all better. I wish I could tell you how it makes sense. All I can say is we appreciate the service of your whole family.
Mike
I too, was directed here by another Canadian. In reading your post I can feel your disappointment. I'm so sorry your husband won't be home early. Try not to focus on him not coming home early, but focus on the first time you will see his smiling face when he DOES get home, Remember that face you fell in love with, the one your kids are missing right now too.
Military families endure a lot for their Soldiers. I comment you and your kids for all the sacrifices you've made in support of your Hero.
Proud Army Mom to a deployed U.S. Soldier.
Sending you hugs and our heart felt appreciation for your family's sacrifices. It is only through the strength of our Warriors that we stand a chance in beating evil in the world.
Please know that you are not alone...
Mrs. J
Houston, TX
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