Friday, April 10, 2009

The cavalry arrives

No news from the desert.

He’s called twice. But there’s no answer from Cobra Commander.

His kit is packed and he’s waiting for the word to move but so far silence from HQ.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt this tired or in pain. Rick tells me to rest and I remind him that Kate doesn’t go to school on Saturdays.

“Just do your best to take it easy, Baby,” he says.

Easier said than done with they dynamic duo.

I shouldn’t say that. They’ve actually been pretty good – all things considered. He’s not going to be seven for a few more weeks and she’s Autistic. All in all – I have to be grateful of their actions of late.

Liam’s teacher called yesterday – he’s swearing in school. Every time I try to talk to him about it he puts his head down and cries. He’s feeling the stress. He has to be. He’s been my shadow since his dad left and he’s worried about seeing me this distressed.

Rick’s parents will be here tonight. They called at noon. The ferry was anchored offshore waiting for another ferry to get out of the harbour before they could dock. Thick pack ice made the going slow.

They’re just a few hours away by suppertime. I look around at the shambles that is my house and wish for the energy to tidy it up. I just don’t have it. They’ll forgive me – I hope.

The sun is setting. Kate lets out the shrillest squeal I’ve heard in awhile. Liam jumps over to the window.

“They’re here!” he yells and runs for the door.

The madness that is our dogs and kids spill from the door. All I can do is stand there and fight back tears. I’m not alone.

More madness as everyone piles back into the house. Everyone is talking at once and through the cacophony that is a Newfoundland reunion I feel peace – my own thoughts have stopped spinning.

I hadn’t realized until that moment how “on” I was. It was like someone pressed the mute button and the lack of screaming worry in my head was almost deafening.

Rick’s mom looks at me with tears in her eyes. Her stress is visible on her face. I’m sure in her mind things were far worse than the reality – and the reality is bad enough.

If I can’t have my own mom I’ve got the next best thing.

Day 217

1 comment:

brat said...

You have been - and remain - in my thoughts and prayers from the other side of Canada...Hold on, girl. Just hold on. I have faith in YOU!